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by cubedcoffeecake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark!Tai, Evil Boyfriends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cubedcoffeecake/pseuds/cubedcoffeecake
Summary: Ben, though? From the moment he stepped foot in the Temple he was drawn to Ben. His smile, his habits, his oddities; and Tai quickly realized that while many of the padawans appreciated Ben's power, none of them tried to know his person.Well, Tai knew. He knew Ben better than himself, sometimes, and he knew that Ben deserved better than this. The more he looked the more he could see the cruelty in the Temple and its flaws. The Jedi were to abstain from love.Love was the greatest thing Tai had ever known.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Tai
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	More

The river was safe ground. It was always just Tai and Ben here.

At the Temple, Luke made a point of regularly sitting down with every student and prodding at their mental wellbeing to make sure they were staying in line. He would pair them up with padawans they weren't close to to prevent bonds from growing. There were always a dozen sets of eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to fuck up.

Tai used to tell Ben that Luke probably meant the best—he just wanted to get to know them and make sure they were okay. Or that you learned better teamwork when you paired with someone you didn't know well. He never really argued about Ben's view on the other padawans, though, and slowly he came to see what Ben saw about the rest, too.

It wasn't that Tai struggled at the Temple. No, he was perfectly average at most things, struggled with combat, and excelled in healing and mind reading. That was the perfect balance Luke seemed to want. What changed his mind was the way Tai saw Ben treated differently.

The one on one meetings for Ben always brought up how he should visit his mother more, or tone it back in combat exercises, or be less obvious when he unlocked a new holocron. He was always paired up with the newest, weakest students despite being terrible at making them feel welcome. It made no  _ sense _ .

Well, it hadn't until Ben finally opened up that last little bit. Sitting on the rocks, kicking their feet in the water. He showed Tai the little box in his mind he guarded so carefully.

Touched by the Dark Side; his wise friend Snoke.

No, Tai didn't struggle with a call to the Dark. All the times he had served cruel men on dirty worlds left him with the belief that there was enough pain in the world without him adding to it. Hell, he would do every little bit he could to make someone's pain go  _ away _ .

Ben, though? From the moment he stepped foot in the Temple he was drawn to Ben. His smile, his habits, his oddities; and Tai quickly realized that while many of the padawans appreciated Ben's power, none of them tried to know his person.

Well, Tai knew. He knew Ben better than himself, sometimes, and he knew that Ben deserved better than this. The more he looked the more he could see the cruelty in the Temple and its flaws. The Jedi were to abstain from love.

Love was the greatest thing Tai had ever known.

"Help me, Tai," Ben sobbed. "Every time Luke looks at me I know he sees it. I don't belong here. I'm too strong, Tai, he won't let me—"

"Hush, it's okay. It's okay, Ben."

"No it's not!  _ I want to hurt them _ ! I want to drag every one of them out here and drown them in the river for ever daring to tell me I have to be like them, that I'm not—I'm not right. And they're right! I'm wrong! Something in me is  _ so broken that I want to kill them _ !"

Tai held him tighter.

He didn't really care about the galaxy. He'd thought he did, because he didn't really know any of the people in it. He did now, though. He knew Ben. And he could see, when compared to Ben, that some people… didn't deserve to be helped. His former masters? He'd watched them all die, one after the other. And they were all horrible people. They deserved it.

Honestly, Tai didn't like seeing people die. He felt the loss in the Force like a weight on his lungs. He didn't feel qualified to decide who should live or die, either. Really, though, that didn't matter, because Ben did know.

Maybe Ben didn't believe in himself, but Tai believed in Ben. He deserved better.

Tai would kill for  _ Ben _ .

"You're not broken, Ben," he whispered. "I know you. Be who you are."

Ben pulled away slowly and looked down at Tai, eyes shining with confusion and tears.

"You—you're the best person I've ever met. You have so much patience, and you're honest, and loyal, and you're so  _ nice _ to me. I want to ask  _ why _ you don't think I'm broken but I can see that you really mean it. That you like me how I am. But Tai— _ I don't deserve you _ . I love you but you shouldn't love me."

"Ben." Tai reached up and brushed his thumb over Ben's cheek, wiping away his tears. "You're right that I love you." Ben choked on a sob.

"But you're wrong that you don't deserve me. You deserve much, much more than me. You deserve the  _ galaxy _ . I love you  _ so much _ ."

They kissed, and everything was beautiful for that one perfect moment.

\--

Every tabloid was covered with it.  _ Leia Organa: Daughter of Darth Vader _ . Every padawan knew by nightfall.

For Ben, it was enlightenment. Every time he had felt as if he were destined for so much  _ more _ . All of his Darkness, the treatment from his uncle, how easily it had come to him to break from every Jedi way. This explained  _ everything _ .

He couldn't meet by the river today. They only ever had time to do that after meditations. Ben knew that Tai had realized it too, though. Every knowing glance from across the training grounds made his heart sing.

Padme Amidala had turned away Vader, but Tai would not turn away Kylo. And in turn, Ben would use his power to make the galaxy better, because he knew that Tai wanted it.

His first thought upon waking to the glow of Luke's saber was that his uncle had felt it too. His birthright.

Fury filled him as he parried his uncle's blow. He deserved a family who stood with him! Supported him! The hut crushed with a movement of his fist and Ben felt his anger grow and twist into something too hot to hold on to.

It grew sharply cold as he watched the Temple collapse to flames and realized that Tai was still inside. He ran toward it but it exploded, sending him flying back. Fear seized him like he had never known. He rose to his knees and screamed. What was he without Tai?

"Ben? Are you hurt?"

He spun around and there was Tai, stumbling through the wreckage toward him.

"Tai?" His voice broke. Tai looked up at him and grinned.

"You did it, Ben! He tried to kill you and you defeated him instead. You're all right!" Tai reached him and pulled him to his feet. "I'm so glad you're all right," he added, softly.

Ben leaned forward and kissed him. Tai reached up to wrap his arms around Ben's neck and kiss him more deeply, pulling a moan out of the taller man. Ben reached down to pull Tai flush against him and was about to grind their hips together when a voice called out behind him.

"What happened here?"

"Where is Master Skywalker?"

Tai pulled away from Ben's face just enough to look at him questioningly. He would follow Ben's lead.

Doubt shook Ben, and he felt himself reach outi in the Force for reassurance. Tai slipped a hand down Ben's arm and linked their fingers, squeezing tightly. He used his presence as a balm to Ben's unsurety in much the way he would soothe physical pain.

"He attacked me. Tried to kill me in my sleep.

"And now he's dead."

Everything after that was a blur. Ben was used to accusations against himself, but at the first demand aimed at Tai he felt himself snap out of focus.

Tai brought him back with gentle hands rubbing his scalp, murmuring gentle encouragement. Ben could feel the death behind him, but let Tai keep his focus on them. Just them. Nothing else mattered.

_ Nothing else mattered. _

\--

"Do you like this place, Ben?"

"It's interesting, Snoke."

"I am very fond of it. The people who built it were trying to hold back the Dark. That was the entire point. To create an oasis of Light here in the great Shadow.

"You see how well it worked.

"You see what denying the nature of things brought them."

"But you were asking me about the  _ Knight of Ren _ ."

"We think…" When Snoke didn't appear perturbed by Ben referring to himself and Tai, Ben assumed that he knew the other man was waiting for Ben in their shuttle. "We think I could learn from them."

"Yes… perhaps the Knights would be a good stop on your journey. There is only so much I can teach you. At the very least, you would no longer need to deny yourself in the way Luke Skywalker required."

  
  
  


Tai was less than impressed with the Knights of Ren.

While Kylo had stolen aboard his father's ship on a hundred smuggling runs, he still lacked the intimate familiarity with the seedier parts of the galaxy that Tai had learned from infancy.

Both the Knights and Tai were at odds because they didn't like the way he resented their initiation ritual any more than he liked their lack of any form of ambition. They drank, fucked, killed, and stole. They had no desire to ever improve themselves. Kylo did, and Tai wanted him to be surrounded by people who would help him work toward that end.

It took Kylo a day or two longer to understand Tai's points, but he remembered how Tai had always heard him out when he first came to the Temple, so Kylo returned the favor. Soon he came to agree that there was little the Knights were teaching him that Tai couldn't teach better.

Indulgences of the flesh? Tai could introduce him to sex, drinking, drugs, new fashions—whatever he wanted. But he  _ didn't _ want it, because it reminded Tai of the abuses of his past and Kylo wanted Tai to be as free of his past as Kylo was to be of his own.

Kylo had believed that the Knights would show him the secrets of the Dark Side, but he was rapidly coming to understand that many paths opposed the Light without truly following the Dark. He didn't want this path.

All of these considerations came to a head when Kylo stumbled back to the  _ Night Buzzard's _ bunks to find Tai shaking with sobs. He ran over and fell to his knees in front of the bed.

"Tai?"

He looked up, eyes wild, and threw himself forward into Kylo.

"He—he was just talking about how you're pretty when you drink yourself stupid but, I just—you're so much more than pretty, Kylo, and that's all they see in you. You're  _ so much more _ ."

Oh.  _ Oh _ . Ben felt his stomach flutter, overwhelmed with Tai's confidence in him. A steadying anger began to bubble in him too.

"Give me the word, Tai. One word, and I'll kill them all." He meant every word.

"I want to make our own Knights, Kylo. Find other people in the galaxy who want to escape, to be more. Who recognize that you're worth following."

"We," Kylo replied sharply. "You are with me, aren't you?" He pulled back just enough to watch Tai's expression.

" _ Always _ ." Tai reached out and cupped the back of Kylo's head, pressing their foreheads together. Kylo felt like he could breathe again.

"All right." He paused and sucked in a deep breath. "Okay. I'll… I'll kill them."

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

Tai kissed him soundly, trying to give Kylo back every ounce of happiness he had given Tai.

When they broke apart and Kylo left with his lightsaber on his hip, he felt like every step was an oath. Each click on the unforgiving durasteel whispered to Tai that he was choosing to let his lover kill people. Reminded him that he had just encouraged it.

Every step warned them both where they were choosing to walk.

Kylo marched on. The door to the bar swung open and he ignited his saber.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Luke was probably actually doing everything right here and this was a case of Ben and Tai consciously misleading themselves so they could feel self-righteous in going off and doing what they want.
> 
> I tried to keep Tai's characterization from being dependent on Ben but I'm not sure how much that came through. In creating their own Knights of Ren it is always obvious to the Knights they recruit and train that Kylo and Tai have very different personalities and interests but choose to commit to each other's interests too. It's definitely a two-sided thing, even though this fic was mostly Tai supporting Ben. I headcanon 90% of the reason the Knights of Ren would ally with the First Order in this 'verse is because Tai liked their supposed mission of bringing relief to the Outer Rim.
> 
> Thank you for reading!! I hope you have enjoyed seeing our pure smol boi be an evil boyfriend. <3


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